dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
