I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
