she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
