You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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