direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
