I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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