kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
We need to get me chipped asap
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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