started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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