I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
