Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize