Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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