Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
