she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
