he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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