i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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