Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
