so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
