so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
