Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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