Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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