Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Found the puke drawer
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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