she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
