I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
