Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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