were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
