Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
