just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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