I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
