What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
