Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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