I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
