is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Dick very happy bro
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
