omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize