Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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