I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize