I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
