You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize