so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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