it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I would fuck him just for his dog
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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