Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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