Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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