dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
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If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
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I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You pole danced in your parka.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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