i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
