All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It's shark week go big or go home
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
