I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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