Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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