to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
