i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
