Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I am available for nakedness
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
