Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
