you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
