His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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