Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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