Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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