How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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