I love black thongs
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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