Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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