Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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