just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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